My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize