I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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