Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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