This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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