Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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