his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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