Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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