the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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