Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize