using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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