Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize