Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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