i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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