Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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