I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize