if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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