the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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