Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize