yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
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There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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