It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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