I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize