so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize