I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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