YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize