Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You left your phone here
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