The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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