My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I enjoy the company of your penis
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