those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize