your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize