hotel room ftw
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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