All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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