why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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