Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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