don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize