Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize