Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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