She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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