you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize