Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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