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She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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