how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize