1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
where am i from again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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