I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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