i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize