he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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