is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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