Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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