my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize