i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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