Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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